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Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Chapter 1: Rogue-Jane and I

BY: Lee A. Zito

Hey Rascal, wake up.

I al carriages lock my retreatroom door, except my cousin always seems to have a onlyter wound handy in her leopard print purse to unlock it. why she carries a simplyter knife around? Well she explains its for security system purposes.

Cmon, spend a penny your ass outta bed already! Its twelve oclock and we should start out some grub.

Flinging my blanket over my face I muttered my snake pito, I hate you...

And I hate you too, now lets go.

I got out of bed and Rogue jumped up in delight, happily leading the way to my car. Stepping outside dressed in the t-shirt I was wearable yester daytime with my ripped up plaid pj pants, face all smeared with day old makeup, I took a deep breath of tee shirt air. Rogue lighted up a cig and rolled knock off her window, initiating the start of conversation.

Lee A. I have this guy Tim all told enamored with me! He lit my hair on conflagration and fell in love.

Sleepily I acknowl framed her comment, What? He lit your hair on fire?

Yeah right hither! Lauren showed off her burnt hair with pride. It was a total accident, at any rate you know how much hair-spray I use. Anyways, so hes talking to me give way night at this party and goes to light some involvement and the next thing you know my hair was up in flames!

What was he dismission?

Oh that doesnt matter...what matters now is that he is totally in love with me and in my powers!

I glanced over at Lauren who was smiling like a risky idiot, so proud of her accomplishments.

Stop grinning like that, youre scaring the hell outta me.

Shut up, you like it.

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Rogue tipped her cig on the edge of the window, Hes...

This is a very nice first chapter to your book. I peculiarly liked the natural sounding colloquy. Writing believable dialogue is one of the more difficult tasks that faces a fiction writer, but you seem to have mastered it. I know writers who record that they cant get published because editors tell them that their dialogue is not credible, but youre not going to have that problem. Your first chapter was so headspring done that I eagerly wanted to read the moment chapter to see what would happen next. Great job!

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